Still Waiting

Sunday, June 24, 2007

hello everyone! i'm back to blogging again.. after so long...

For these past months, i've been working as a sales admin at luxasia. the job is very sai gang loh. initially i still can take all the shit.. but not anymore. so i'm finally leaving this coming friday!!!! SO HAPPY LOH!!! i cant express the happiness but i do feel a little sad cos this is a chapter of my life and i'm closing it now.

after quitting my job, i'll be a full time private student who will be studying to retake A lvls again... sighs. JC life is definitely a big, miserable chapter of my life. i hate it so much! now im still stuck here. i dont know why. must i love it like my secondary school life then can i leave easily and sadly? -..- i wanna leave happily.

today is such a boring day!!! argh. so sianz. cos no one is gg bugis loh.. i was still looking forward to saturday cos its gg out day. apparently everyone is busy except me and hui. in the end we went to a bar at hotel rendevous (cant spell =x) and spent quite a bomb there. no thanks to the waitress who kept kajiao-ing us and pretend to ask abt our game and finally, ask us what else we wannt order. the bar is perfectly fine except the seat is too small for my butt and of cos, that waitress. i ordered red bull and sprite to be mixed..-..- it costs $11+. so ex! anyway, the waitress asked: "oh, no alcohol for you?" me: "no thanks. hee." waitress: "woooooo."

asshole. i dun drink alcohol cannot ah?

anyway i still think that im a kid! no diff from the sec 1 me who is so afraid of losing some things dearest to me. of cos i meant friends!

i'm soo afraid that when uni comes, all of us will segregate and meeting out in a grp will be so hard. in fact this is wad is happening now and i feel so upset! ='( i know my best friend will be entering uni with another friend. i'm actually so upset loh. my bestest best best friend is snatched away! one of the dearest thing that belongs to me since sec1. =( i'm so afraid. i'm so so afraid. And i mean it.

though as we grew older we got closer and closer and there cannot be any reason why one shld be bester than the other. but my bestest best(u know who u are!!! =D) fren will always be the bestest no matter what. unless she takes a knife and stab me for no reason! lol.

okay. after the bar which i froze inside, we went to simei and met weeyik and boonching for pool! haha. boonching looks good without spects!!! =) please buy monthly instead of daily lah. very expensive leh rite?

sometimes i never wished to grow up. you go thru so many rough patches that makes you feel like stopping to cry. sometimes you feel that there is nothing to push you forward, motivate you on and you feel that all friends left you. i've hit these patches many times and this made me a stronger person yet more miserable as well cos things happen and you cant forget them. this changes your point of view and affects your stand. =( even then, as you grow older, you grow fatter and wrinkles appear. so i wish i'm always in my sec 3 and 4s. that is the happiest time of my life so far. i cant assure that marriage will be better than that! if you give me one day to re-live again, i'll choose the most normal day of my sec 3 life, where we always go to pasir ris park as a WHOLE group in PRSS uniform, not one lesser, and have so much fun renting the bike, having small snacks and being poor! that is really long ago. i really love the life and i know there is no way to re-live it again! ='( this fact makes me very sad and cry.

i miss my friends so much. i still remember the days when all of us go to hui's hse for video making for ah cai.. celebrating bday for each of us.. but it seems like time is passing so fast and we havent really stop to think for one another. i've been a bad friend recently. very bad. =( just a few days back, i got a reminder from weitian that we did not give her a present for her bday. and i rmbed that the same goes for huilin. my bestest best friend! i forgot abt it totally! not that i forgot abt the bday, i forgot to give her a present. and i will soon make up to them. even cai's present oso very belated. maybe this yr i'll not have a very pleasant bday. everyone is so busy with their studies and work and everything.. i wonder if it'll be as pleasant as my sec 3 and 4 bday. my friends got together and made a cake for me and some other stuff. consistently for 2 years! no matter how hard or untasty the cake is (=p) i'm still very touched and it IS the best gift i ever received from them. sighs. so many memories of us. so little pics and so little blogs on it! =( i miss you,:

hui lin
chang yu
eddie
cailing
weitian
jiatyue

i miss the times when you all look so nerdy and i look the best in my contacts. =) (just kidding. =D)

other than my friends and family, another important person in my life would be my dear! (opening declares)

after quarrelling so much and hitting so many rough patches together, i can really see tt u've changed alot! haha..changed for the better..even my friends say so.. happy? =) i'm happy even if u're not. =p i'm glad we started over and it's turning out fine! definitely not for the times we quarrelled, but it's inevitable in a rlss! i know i'm getting somewhat passive, but i promise will try my best k? i gave you my word and you could see i tried! but whenever i cant make it, dun think tt its being passive, there could be other reasons behind them that you can choose to believe too. and so sorry for making you spent a bomb with all the treats.. thanks so much bee! i love you! (3 words cost many many money.)

anyway, i've quite gotten used to outings without everyone around.. hee.. and yups.. i simply love slacking with my best friends at cafe cartel or HK cafe! really! its a total waste of time but it makes me so happy to be just around with my friends!=D

and boyfriend oso lah huh? =D ilu!

oki its getting very early, 3am already...gotta go.. and finally....

MY BLOG IS ALIVE AND KICKING SO PLEASE VISIT OFTEN!!!! =D

p/s: do remember to tag. =D

-when are you coming back? ;